Do you remember feeling that way about your partner… newly in love, excited and passionate about each other? Maybe you’re fortunate enough to still be in that state. You know how to give your relationship the attention it requires. If not, would you like to get back there again? We have tips that can help.
Renewal is commonly seen as a process of improving, repairing, or making something more successful. We’d like to look at renewal as a welcoming in of Springtime after a long winter… and a freshening up of our relationship. It is easy to slip into bad habits … perhaps not giving your relationship the time or attention it requires. It is not uncommon to get busy with work, family and other outside obligations. Before you know it, your relationship is shoved a notch or two down the priority list or, in some cases, totally ignored. Over time you get used to the status quo until one morning you wake up and the spark is gone… or at least hidden from view. Many people feel that a good relationship should not require work. It should simply be. This is not true. Relationships require attention, much the same as a beautiful garden. Untended, a garden can quickly become full of weeds and insects. With a little attention, it can once again be beautiful and flourish. Our relationships are no different. How do we freshen up your relationship… improve, repair, and make it more successful? Here are some simple steps to a thriving relationship. Check your frame of mind. This is key. Do not judge your desire for improvement as a bad thing. This will only cause worry. Instead, look at this as an opportunity to refresh and upgrade the quality of your relationship. Talk to your partner in a positive way, sharing your desires. Don’t start the conversation with: I’m not happy or I want more from you. Instead, recall a fond memory and share how it made you feel. For example: Remember when we use to take walks by the lake after dinner. You used to hold my hand and we’d talk about our day? I love that. I love our special time together. I’d love to start doing that again. What do you think? Be open to alternative suggestions. This conversation is about connecting. Maybe your life circumstances have changed. Perhaps you now have children. Make room for adjustments. Maybe you take a walk pushing a stroller. Or maybe you can cuddle on the sofa and talk after you put the kids to bed. The point is having special time together in a way that works for both of you. Be careful not to place blame or use generalizations like always or never, e.g.: we never go out any more. Instead, make a list of all the things you love to do together. Then talk about how you could re-incorporate some of those things into your life. You might even write each idea on a slip of paper, fold them and put them in a jar. Pull one out on free days and do whatever the slip of paper suggests. Take responsibility for what you can do to improve the relationship instead of pointing the finger at all the things your partner should do. Think about the things you’ve let slip. Did you use to make dinner? Tell your partner how much you cared? Give compliments? Look at them with loving eyes? Smile when they looked your way? Hold their hand? Plan special weekends or date nights? Do those things again. Everyone wants to feel loved. Renewing your relationship is a matter of focusing positive attention on it, keeping the love alive. Give your partner your full attention. Listen when they talk. Notice what makes them happy. Make it a point to bring a smile to their face. Open your hearts to one another and allow the love to radiate out. The Winter is coming to an end. Enjoy the Spring.
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Introducing Ms. Lucille Ball!I Love Lucy!!Working as a dress model and on Broadway chorus-lines, she became the Chesterfield Cigarette Girl model in 1933 and became an Goldwyn Girl in the Eddie Cantor film musical, 'Roman Scandals'. She continued to struggle throughout the 1930s, with minor parts in films such as 'Stage Door', 'Room Service' and 'Sorrowful Jones'. On the set of a 1940 production called 'Too Many Girls', she met her future husband and business partner, Desi Arnaz. They were soon married. Ball turned her hand to radio, she recorded many programmes, finally developing a truly individual style in 1948, with 'My Favourite Husband'. In an effort to save her troubled marriage, she persuaded studio bosses to let her co-create a TV show with Arnaz in 1950. The show was to become 'I Love Lucy', and she shot to fame. ‘I Love Lucy’ is still one of the most successful shows in television history, it made Lucy a star and the couple millions. They bought out the studio and renamed it Desi-lu. In 1951, just a few days before her 40th birthday and after several miscarriages, Ball gave birth to her first child Lucie Desiree Arnaz. Just 18 months later she gave birth to her second child Desiderio Alberto Arnaz JR. After making two films together, they ended 'I Love Lucy' in 1957, while it was still at its peak. Sadly, their marriage ended too and Lucy and Arnaz divorced in 1960. Ball went to on marry nightclub comic Gary Morton. In addition to making a host of television shows throughout the 1960s and 1970s, Ball becoming a powerful TV executive, she was the guiding light behind such projects as 'Star Trek' and 'Mission: Impossible'. Ball’s last television appearance was at the Academy Awards in 1989 with Bob Hope. The 'First Lady of Television' died only weeks later on 26 April 1989 after undergoing heart surgery to fix an aortic aneurysm, which ruptured for a second time killing her. Lucy is still remembered fondly, her famous ‘chocolate scene’ in ‘I Love Lucy’ remains one of television’s all-time highlights. Source: http://www.lifetimetv.co.ukWhen we start to have negative thoughts, it’s hard to stop them. And it’s much easier said than done to shift your focus to positive thoughts. But, it’s the only way, especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary.
Here are ten things I did to help overcome my negative thoughts that you can also try: 1. Meditate or do yoga. One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment. 2. Smile. I didn’t do much of this during the weekend so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown. 3. Surround yourself with positive people. I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive, yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking. 4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive. For example, instead of thinking, "We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation," think, "We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with." 5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility. The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be. 6. Help someone. Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person. I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation Army. It took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else. 7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward. It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again. 8. Sing. I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better . When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief. 9. List five things that you are grateful for right now. Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: My cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean. 10. Read positive quotes. I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door, and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that I attended: Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny. Happy positive thinking! By Michelle Uy If you're fair, go for a small amount of blush around a pinkish color for the cheeks. But, the fist thing you MUST know is that if you put on eye shadow don't ever put on lipstick or gloss at the same time. So for the eyes it really depends on your eye color, for blue eyes you shouldn't go for a blue eyeshadow go for earth-tones. If you want to jump out of earth tones light pink always looks good, Brown eyes can get away with wearing almost any color of eyeshadow. But if you really want to make them pop out go for aether green, pink or blue eyeshadow. In order to get green eyes to pop, you should try wearing various purple shades. If you want your eyes to stand out but look more natural, you may want to try warmer mocha brown shades or warm colors with slight orange undertones for green eyes.Keep in mind that you should have fun with your eyeshadow and it shouldn't be a bothersome process. A general rule of thumb with eyeshadow is to first compliment your eye color and then it shouldn't contrast your clothing. In other words, don't wear a purple based eyeshadow on your blue eyes while you are wearing a coral toned shirt. And for lipstick and gloss: gloss always looks better for people that have a fair skin tone a light pink would look Perfect! If you're light, you should wear bronze or lavender purple eyeshadow. Apply it up to your crease. For the blush, you should choose a medium rose. Because your probably slightly dark-haired, you should choose black mascara. For finish put on a natural medium pink or coral/orangey. If you have medium skin, choose chocolate brown or olive green. (make sure the olive is a bit shimmery, so it doesn't drag your eyes down) the blush should be a natural dark coral. You should definitely choose either black or blue mascara. Blue really brings out the eye colour. This only works for medium skin: Put on a matte bronzer on the bridge of your nose, forehead and chin. Make sure it looks very natural, and that you barely notice it. Brown stains on your face - not a good look. Choose a matte, light red lipstick. If you have dark skin, choose a dark plum or black-brown matte eyeshadow. The blush should be dark plum or bronze. It really makes the cheekbones pop. The mascara should be a very black one. And the lipstick should be a creamy wine or plum tone Warnings Choosing the right career is tricky. Economist Neil Howe estimates that only five percent of people find a good career match on the first try. And even beyond this chilling stat, there’s so much external pressure to land the perfect job, follow your passion and be super successful by the end of your 20s. No wonder most people break into a cold sweat when asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" But deciding on a career can be simplified into three basic problems. Conquer these, and you’ll dramatically up your chances of finding the job that’s right for you. Problem #1: You Don’t Have Enough Information There are literally thousands of careers out there—some of which could be at the perfect junction of what you’re good at, what you love and what’s in demand. It’s amazing how many successful people didn’t know their dream job even existed when they were younger. To combat this problem, try this: devote one hour every day for a week (or heck, a month!) on pure research. Check out career exploration sites, top job lists, your favorite blogs or even a new section of the newspaper. Your mission? Write down any and every job that catches your eye. This minimal routine will skyrocket your list of career ideas. Problem #2: You Don’t Know What You Want There are many great jobs in the world. But there are fewer great jobs that are right for you. Making a good connection between yourself (your values, interests, personality, etc.) and a career can be tough. For some people, personality tests or heart-to-hearts with a career counselor can jumpstart this stage. But if you’re short on time, money or patience (some of those career tests are worse than the eHarmony intake form), assess career ideas with this practical checklist: A. Does this career sound interesting? As author Cal Newport has so eloquently advocated, you don’t have to be passionately head-over-heals for a career in order to thrive. (In fact, following a passion can be a big mistake.) However, a career should genuinely interest you on a gut level. It’s a good sign if you hear about a job and think, "Yeah, tell me more about that!" B. Does this career involve work that you could be good at? Many skills can be learned if you commit the time, but pursuing a career that actively goes against your natural tendencies is a giant fail waiting to happen. If you’re an introverted research type, don’t force yourself into a sales job—no matter how cool it sounds. Likewise, big-picture people will not find happiness in a tiny-details job. If the work itself clashes with your personality or skill set, move on. C. Does this career fulfill your essential needs? What you need from a career can include everything from basic salary and education requirements to more complicated concerns related to disability, family situation, religious beliefs and beyond. Once you’ve nailed down what you want from your job, you can match those needs to career options. For example, if a six-figure income tops your priority list, choose a field where you can feasibly make that kind of money (think science, healthcare, technology, business) and avoid lottery industries (like filmmaking and fashion design) where only a lucky few will strike it rich. D. Does the world need this career? Practically speaking, you need a job. So before diving down a new career path, see if there’s a reasonably good chance someone will hire you at the end of it. Check out employment projections or industry chatter to gauge if your career is in demand. Problem #3: You Can’t Make a Decision You’re 99.99 percent guaranteed to find multiple career choices where you can shine. In this situation, it’s easy to fall into a perpetual motion machine of angst and second-guessing. What if you don’t pick the right career? But here’s the secret: don’t worry about choosing the best option; choose any (well-researched and practical) option. "Just pick one thing to do," suggests Brazen founder Penelope Trunk. "And if that doesn’t work, then pick another. Making a choice and trying it is an important career skill." So be brave and take action—and you’ll be that much closer to finding a job you love. Annie Favreau works for Inside Jobs, a site that helps people discover strong careers and connect with the right education to achieve their goals. Follow her on Twitter at @InsideJobs! |
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