Our morning motivation posts are geared toward a quick thought to get you motivated for the day. They are reminders to be kind to yourself, to keep working towards your goal, to keep your thoughts and the people around you positive, and an abundance of other encouraging sentiments. It's been a while, but one of our morning motivation posts said 'be careful how you talk to yourself because you are listening.' It has become common for me to have some type of real life example to share and this post is no different.
I mentioned in a previous post that I started a new job last summer. There were nine people in my training class. There was one particular person in my class that seemed to find something to complain about everyday. Initially, some of the things this person would bring up were legitimate and I understood the arguments. After the first few weeks I was exhausted from listening. I made up my mind that I could no longer entertain this person anymore. Surprisingly, 'the complainer' completed training. That was in early July. What I am about to say is no exaggeration. This person had managed to consistently complain everyday since July. Needless to say, they gave their resignation last week and didn't even finish out the two weeks. Let me also add that I didn't initiate another conversation with this person again after I made up my mind to stop listening while we were in training.
Here's what I know: I can not function properly with negativity around me. This wasn't always the case. I thought I had to tolerate it to keep from being seen as mean or rude. Negativity can also come from within. Either way, it can be harmful to your progress - whatever your goals may be.
We have complete control over who or what is in our space. That person in my training class became detrimental to my success. It was imperative that I discontinued our frequent discussions. Had I continued to participate, negative talk would have remained and guess who is always listening?
Words are powerful. You can frame your world just by what you allow to come out of your mouth. The same is also true with what you allow yourself to hear. Long story short - if it's negative then you don't want it. Be selective when sharing your dreams. Everyone that is around you now may not be ready to take in your 'bigger than life' attitude. And when life happens and causes some bumps along your journey be sure to take it in, learn from it, and keep moving. Give yourself a break and ease up on the criticism. You are further along than you think.
Make sure your conversations are supportive and encouraging - you are listening!
Until next time in the safe place,
In the premier post of Kuinua, I shared my reasons for beginning this journey. My intention is to inspire you to be better. At the same time, I hope to grow and push myself to some limits that have never been touched.
If you recall, last week I briefly mentioned that I had struggled with self-confidence in the past. I would like to explain why. Before I was even 21, I dated someone for several years. During that time he would often make me feel like I wasn't good enough to be with him - like he was doing me a favor. Initially, I didn't realize what was happening. The relationship lasted for several years and each year I stayed around the more I was broken down. There was no logical reason for me subjecting myself to his behavior. I had a great childhood and supportive family and friends. I lost my identity. There were even some that encouraged me to try and save the relationship. Some did it because they genuinely wanted me to be happy and knew that I wanted the relationship to work. Others knew how damaging his behavior was and I can only guess they cared more about what it would look like if we ended the relationship.
I'm definitely ok now, but years ago I was not. How did I get over it? I can't take all of the credit. God truly had to deal with me and it was not easy. All of those years I harbored feelings of being incomplete and uselessness. No one really knew and I absolutely didn't go around spilling my guts. My hurt did not just effect me. It effected everything I was a part of - EVERYTHING.
Although that relationship did contribute to my low self esteem, it was not the only cause. I have to accept the responsibility in some of it. I was player in the game also.
Here's what I know: we are in control of our lives. We have the authority to let people in or dismiss those who no longer belong. Hindsight is 20/20 and just reliving some of those feelings right now reminds me that we also need to be mature enough to be able to see intentions. Life has a funny way of teaching us if we aren't quite ready. I definitely was not ready then, but now I am. Now, being ready comes in the form of sharing my experience to help someone else.
I can't say this enough - be intentional. Make your moves with a purpose and a vision. Your people (those that you consider to be close enough to share aspirations and dreams with) should be intentional also. If they do not add value to your life, tread lightly. It could be that you were chosen to pour into them, but if it continues to be a one-way influence then it may be time to re-evaluate.
Embrace your experience (good or bad), learn the lesson, and move on. It was meant to make you better and not drag you down. Your story, no matter what it is, is relevant. Share it when the time is right.
Until next time in the safe place,