Buzzing louder than usual, the tardy bell rings the moment I reach my Algebra class door. Looking me square in the face, the teacher closed the door. Franticly knocking and twisting at the locked door. No one came. And within seconds his cold masculine hand wrapped around my throat, as my feet began to dangle above ground, he firmly pressed my teenage body against the wall. With a deep chillin’ voice he said, “I better never see you walkin’ with another nigga, again.”
Back then I didn’t know it, but I’d ‘soul tied’ myself to a monster-
Over 30 years later and after a much needed workout in Aurora, Colorado I engaged in much needed dialogue with my friend, Rhi @trueartistrhimack. In the midst of conversation, I always ask about the national playwright, Laterras R. Whitfield @laterrasrwhitfield. But this time it wasn’t how he was doing; it was what he was doing. He’s doing what he does best. Creating ‘Outside the Box’ Planting seeds. Gaming the game. Empowering. Changing lives on his, ‘Dear Future Wifey Podcast’. He’s LIT ‘Living Intentionally and Transparently’ a phrase he’s coined. Everyone is LIT, huni! I’m here for his journey to discover, uncover, and recover love. Oh, and the love letters he reads at the end of each episode.
But what does all this mean? What’s the purpose? He candidly explains everything. To find out click the YouTube link Dear Future Wifey. Then subscribe. Then binge watch. So, why did I begin with such a violent story, my story. After watching “Abstain to Gain”, season 2 episode 201 with Lestine Bell, it was reflection time. Time to look back at the root of my pain. The toxic relationship that changed my life forever. A soul tie that would impact my future relationships and way of thinking. Both my parents were actively present in my home. I’m sure they had some disagreements, but I never heard them. But for damn sure I never saw them physically fight. So, I knew I wasn’t staying in this mess. But he made sure I’d leave tarnished for life. I left a teenage rape victim. Now I’d forgiven this guy years ago, but the damage and residue lingered long after. Unknowingly, I took pieces of his darkness with me; all because of a damn soul tie. I was ‘Damaged Goods’. With God, a little therapy, and through the passing of years I’m 90% healed.
So, I ask the questions: ● When we see red flags popping up, why do we stay? Or better yet, why do we even get involved with that man or woman? ● If we know sexual soul ties can link us to the wrong person, why do we engage in it? ● Why not practice abstinence to avoid the possible headache? ● Hell, is there such a thing as an unscathed love? If you know please share. If not, we can discover, uncover, and recover love with Laterras R. Whitfield on the “Dear Future Wifey Podcast”,
To find out click the YouTube link Dear Future Wifey below. Then Subscribe.
By Tonika Yvonne Wheeler
12/18/2020 04:04:30 pm
When I was younger, I'd hear my grandmother talk about soul ties. It wasn't until I entered into my adult year did I truly understand what she meant. Unfortunately, my soul ties came with years of heartache and disappointment.
12/18/2020 04:50:29 pm
I love Toni’s writing. She takes you to where ever she was in that moment. She has taken that darkness and turned it into a light that shines and inspires others to do the same.
12/18/2020 06:34:30 pm
Thank you! Your words are encouraging.
12/18/2020 04:56:26 pm
Trust I understand. Watch S2 EPS 201 of Dear Future Wifey on YouTube, Lestine Bell goes deep into. Girl I was looking like 😯! https://youtube.com/c/DearFutureWifey
Toni!!!! Thank you for shedding light on this. I’m currently healing from the damaging effects of a soul tie and I recently felt like I was drowning. I look forward to checking out Dear Future Wifey and the continued healing process. Thank you for your transparency sister!
12/19/2020 02:17:10 pm
Absolutely CoCo! Always remember you’re a survivor. The best revenge is success.💗
12/19/2020 09:51:21 pm
Very thoughtful and personal. Thank you for courageously sharing messages that Fitch us to examine ourselves.
12/20/2020 07:00:32 pm
Thank you for reading and your support!
12/20/2020 08:55:16 pm
I admire you for being so transparent. Your ability to tell a part of your story as it was very thought-provoking because it encourages other women to go deep inside within themselves and acknowledge the very things they’ve denied or have avoided. This is the beginning of a healing process to many. You will reach so many women just through your honesty and transparency alone. Please continue to do what you’re doing.
12/26/2020 11:03:29 am
Thank you Catina B!
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Tonika Yvonne Wheeler