In childhood your blackness being challenged can be devastating, not so much in your adulthood. As a child you’re on the journey of self-discovery; you’re still trying to find your true identity. “Where do I fit in?” “Who am I?” If your observation of your black surroundings - - our black community - - your black family that’s questioning your blackness, is smothered in a life of criminal activity your direction can be smoky and suffocating. Unable to see clearly, you’ll kick into survival mode, fight or flight. Either you’ll fly into your true identity or fight to prove you’re black enough. How many of us have dimmed our light, failed to excel, pretended to be something we weren’t because we were trying to fit into the puzzle that we considered our blackness – our black box? What is being black? Who defined blackness? And, why must our blackness be dressed in poor grammar, government assistance, and criminalization? Why does it have to be untalented, uneducated, and uncouth? And who the hell told us that if it didn’t look like this it wasn’t black? And why did we fall for it? Did we fall into the Willie Lynch trap or have Stockholm syndrome? If so, how the hell do we get out of it? Are we crabs in the bucket, afraid of being left behind? Are we our people’s worst enemy, wanting them to fail because you fear stepping out of your comfort zone? Why do we allow others’ opinions of us to influence how we move through life? My cousin hid brilliance behind the walls of the penitentiary. I hid my talents deep within, journaling in a hidden notebook. How many are behind prison walls because they didn’t feel black enough or questioned, “Who am I?”How many gifts are hidden in the pages of a notebook, afraid of being different or being judged? Why do we hide our gifts? We hide because of the grotesque word – FEAR – that loves to splash its ugliness around. Fear of not being accepted; fear of being called weird; fear of being criticized; fear of not being black enough; fear of not being good enough; fear of being judged; fear of being alone. Plain ol’ FEAR. I’d heard my share of negative comments, from my skin being too dark to being weird. Their opinions of me caused me great difficulty in honing my gifts, until I accepted and embraced my differences...until I learned to love the fact that I was eccentric. Where would I be if I’d never allowed those opinions to invade my existence? Everyone wants to put you in a box. “You get a black box!” “You get a white box!” Schreckkkk! “Ummm, what box does this one belongs in?” Some of us proudly hover in between. It can be a lonely road when you don’t ride with likeminded and supportive individuals. Our history in America is painful and seemingly disgraceful. We must remember that OUR creativity and power-built America. We must remember that we come from people that had everything stolen from them: their country, family, name, tradition, language, religion, and dignity. And, at the same time, stole OUR truth. Some of us were sold and purchased, with the rest of humanity, that we are inferior people... everything negative...and that we all belong a box. Our ancestors broke free of that box. It’s our responsibility to stay out of it. It’s vital that we reprogram and instill in our youth that it’s OK to hover in between the box, that black isn’t confined to a box. That growing up in the projects or growing up poor does not isolate you to the box nor is it a gateway to jail or prison. OUR black represents EXECELLENCE, OUR black is embedded in EVERYTHING! Our BLACK blood is deeply saturated in America’s soil. Our BLACK is deeply rooted in American history. And like roots we grow in many directions penetrating through the walls of the box. We NEVER belonged in a box of any kind. So, STOP buying into the lie and start nurturing OUR gifts; OUR gifted. If they have creative bones, nurture their creativity, don’t criticize it. If they’re brainy and enunciate their words, nurture that, don’t criticize it. Be the shoulders they stand on to get out of the box not the lid closing them in. FEAR will surely rear its ugly head but tell them to walk through that fear. Help them celebrate and accept their differences, even if you don’t understand it. JUST DO IT! These are OUR future leaders, innovators, business owners, educators, lawyers, doctors, and artists. The rest of the world will try to destroy them and force them into the box. It’s our responsibility to arm them with confidence and the knowledge to break free. Keep educating ourselves on OUR history not the history they want us to believe. There’s success in hovering in between the box. It is not easy, but OUR history has shown, without question, that it’s ABSOLUTELY DOABLE! Written by Tonika Yvonne Wheeler https://blulibraent.com/
11 Comments
Shay Roberts
4/13/2020 12:48:20 pm
When we learn to no longer live in fear..inside the box, is when we're unable to unlock our truest potential. The Black Box II speaks truth and empowerment. Great read and easy to follow.
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Emma Brown
4/14/2020 12:10:13 pm
Toni it was amazing and incisive. I believe that we should teach our children. I thank God for inspiring you to write and inspire others. Love you.
Cindee Pencheon
4/13/2020 01:43:52 pm
The Black Box is an awesome read. Speaks the truth. Great read and easy to follow...
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Kevin Bivens
4/13/2020 08:53:01 pm
And why did we fall for it? Did we fall into the Willie Lynch trap or have Stockholm syndrome?..........
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Cedric E.
4/14/2020 11:32:06 am
That's deeper than the Mariana Trench- FEAR.....enough said right there- Excellent pieces of work, Toni...excellent
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Tonika
4/15/2020 10:56:01 am
Cedric E. ( Challenger Deep) thank you!
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Marvin Brown
4/19/2020 09:41:00 pm
Fear: a lot of people have it, the question is how do you get over what it is that you are in fear of? Me, I fear nothing because I know one day I will die! I just love the way you open our minds with how people do want you to be placed in a box. It's amazing how people really don't know our history, Black History! You are so right when you said not the history they want us to believe. How they repeat it over and over every year in the month of February. It's amazing how some of these movies that are just now coming out, letting us now know that the Black man and Black woman has had major roles in the success of this United States of America! Keep up the great work.
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Tonika
4/26/2020 07:26:39 pm
Absolutely! You have to learn to fight through FEAR, it’ll always raise its ugly head. But, it’s only there to STOP you from getting to your greatest. Our true history removes the blindfolds....
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