I USE TO LOVE HIM.. NOW I DON'T! BY SHAMYRA KENDRICKS

Pinterest(photo credit)

I used to love him, now I don’t 　

She used to love him
But now she didn't
He said he loved her a thousand times
But when her pleas of loneliness and silent cries
in the middle of the night went unanswered
She changed her mind
In the beginning it was different (isn't it always)

He promised her the world
Past the moon and the stars
She believed him with her being (so it seemed)
Took it all in
And dreamed the impossible dream
A world where the two of them were together
Forever (maybe)

Because in the back of her thoughts
Doubt and uncertainty became kin
And his touch no longer tickled her skin
Because she felt it knew it
Couldn't name it, didn't want to believe it

But she knew he'd changed
Her body changed forms
Outwardly her stomach enlarged
Inwardly she starved
Because her craving for love was not being fed

Her weight increased from the need to release
all the hurt and pain
Yet she remained coupled with him
He grew slim
Refusing to partake of the love on his plate
And began to nibble at foreign delicacies

Her heart broke
and she took in all of his sins
And attempted to mask what was no longer beautiful
Although she knew the truth
She refused to let go

Afraid she'd never have another chance to be coupled
For she felt she was no longer appealing to the male eye
For she had extra packaging around the waist
And her thighs were likened to thunder

She felt huge
Burdened by the knowledge that she had to let go
For he didn't love her
And yet she didn't know how to leave
Her breathing was uneasy
As she stepped across the bridal threshold

She kneeled on the floor
Near the bags he'd packed and placed by the door
She couldn't move
It was no longer unspoken
But painstakingly clear

His heart hadn't been there in years
And through scorching tears
She watched the person leave
His heart was broken
That was the true reason he couldn't give himself to her

His momma never hugged him like he needed
And his innerchild pleaded for her arms
In his home, where he grew up, where he was from
There was no warmth, love didn't flow
So he didn't grow

Stunted by childhood pain
Unable to understand that his momma
Thought depriving him of emotion
would make him a better man

And that's why he couldn't love her...

By Shamyra Kendricks

---