HOW TO MAKE A LONG DISTANT RELATIONSHIP WORK!

Long distance relationships are definitely risky, and if you are unfortunate enough to be far away from your significant other, the prospect of potentially ruining your relationship can seem daunting. Just because long distance relationships are difficult, doesn't mean they're impossible. Simple adjustments to your attitude and lifestyle can help you keep your loved one in your life.

• Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask on for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great, so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Ensure the e-mails are substantive and detailed. It will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort.
• Work around your schedule. Do your best to maintain communication, even if one of you gets busier than the other. If you are the busy one, warn your partner that you may have limited time, and try to send at least a quick email or text, or a share a brief phone call. If you are the not-as-busy person, take advantage of the time by picking up a new hobby, getting in shape, reading a new book, etc. Flexibility is very important.
• Visit often. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other in person at every opportunity. Visit on a regular schedule if you can; if you can't, make plans for the next visit as soon as each one ends.
• Create your own rituals around your in-person visits. These can be whatever you choose: eating at a favorite restaurant, enjoying a quiet night together at home, sharing a favorite in-person activity, or anything else.
• Smooth out travel logistics so they don't get in the way of your time together. Know where to meet at the airport or train station. Learn to travel with one bag or leave basics at your partner's home to save time at the airport.
• Meet away from home sometimes, too. Go visit a place together that is new to both of you.
• Get to know each other. Just like an proximal relationship, you'll have to spend some time really getting to know and understand your partner. When talking to your partner, take note of things they enjoy the most (hobbies, day-to-day activities, etc.), and do a little research on it so you have more to do when you see them next. Knowing each other's preferences will also help when you want to exchange gifts.
• For example: If your partner likes to dance, find the location of different clubs where you will see them next. If you don't know how to dance, take lessons and you will impress them by your willingness to make an effort on their behalf.
• Support each other, even over the distance. You have to be there for your partner. If your partner is ever in trouble, or hurt, or whatever, be there for them. Make sure you are available to them so that they can reach you if they need you. If they end up dealing with everything alone, they will eventually not need you. And sometimes, distance permitting of course, that means being actually, physically there for them.
• Celebrate the boring. Mundane, boring parts of life are a normal part of relationships and so embracing this part of your life together will help keep things normalized. Don't be afraid to talk about the "boring" parts of your day. Maintain the feeling of being intermingled in each other's lives, a state of "interrelatedness."
• Adapt your expectations to the distance. You may not be able to update that person on every detail of your life.
• When you are together, try to do mundane things that couples who live together would do: grocery shopping, cleaning the closet, rearranging furniture/redecorating, etc. It gives the feeling of creating a home together, something you both can look forward to.
• Create trust. Just as with traditional relationships, trust is incredibly important. Avoid temptations. Try your best to be faithful, lest you destroy the trust on which your relationship relies. Avoid putting yourself in situations where you would be tempted, and let your partner know that there's nothing to worry about. *Don't be too anxious or jealous if you don't always know what they are doing. A little space is harmless and will definitely keep things calm.

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