LOVE LANGUAGE

By Y. Smitty

I am no expert on love and relationships and there are many times that I get it wrong. We all do. I will say along the way I have learned that you must know your mate. You need to learn and understand your Love Language. You cannot speak the love language of another couple and think it will work for your relationship. Your relationship is unique and special in its own way. For example, for Christmas my mate does not have to spend $300 on a designer handbag. That is a love language for someone, but not for me. He knows my language and knows he can buy me some comfortable pajamas and a bottle of wine. It took time for us to learn our language and it changes over time as we mature. Sometimes things become less important or more important. Ten years ago he would have had to sleep at his mother’s house buying me a pair of pajamas for any occasions!

It is okay to tell your mate what you like and what you don’t like. We cannot expect them to be mind readers and then roll our lips out on the floor when they get it wrong. We are all entitled to change but that has to be communicated to the other person. Communication can also be in the form of nonverbal cues. Nonverbal cues such as a touch, eye contact or moving closer is a form of communication. If my mate sits on the sofa and I move closer to him, it speaks to him and I never said a word. Nonverbal cues or body language help you to understand what your mate is trying to say. Rolling your eyes so hard in the back of your head is also nonverbal but it might not be the best form of nonverbal communication if you are trying build a healthy happy relationship. Take some time to talk with your mate or nonverbally communicate and see if there is a change in the relationship.

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